Oh What Fun Christmas Dinner Party!

I've been hinting for months now that I was planning a special event. Well that special event happened last weekend when I curated an intimate Christmas dinner party for some of the special women in my life. I’ve always wanted to have a Christmas party, but it wasn’t until late this summer when I decided to pull the trigger and verbally say to a few people that I was going to have a party. Immediately I had a vision of how I wanted this experience to be – I knew I wanted it to be in my small apartment, I knew the vibe, I knew the décor, I even kind of knew the food I wanted to serve – I just wasn’t sure how (or if) I could pull it off.

The one thing that I agonized the most over was wishing I had the space to invite more people, because there were so many other women in my life that deserved a seat at the table. When I left New York, I intentionally got a small apartment because I was used to living small and wanted to continue living in that way – but that meant, for this party especially, that I only had space for maybe 8-9 people. Think about allll the people in your life. How do you only pick 9? I have these different pods of friends (friends since preschool, college friends, sorors, adult friends, past and present co-workers, travel buddies) - and unfortunately, I just couldn’t invite everyone from each of these groups. I agonized about this - so much so that I almost decided not to have the party. I truly didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings - I wanted to invite everyone, I really did - I just didn't have the space. I thought about the invite list – heck up until a week before the party, thinking “maaaybe I could try and squeeze at least 2 more people – but in reality, it just wasn’t possible. What I can say is this event is the first of MANY to come (after I take a little break). If you didn't get the golden ticket this time - I promise there will be many more parties to come.

It wasn’t until mid-October that I really kicked the planning into gear. I always knew that I wanted the dinner portion of the evening to be in my apartment, but wasn’t sure how I could pull off the happy hour (which I called Jingle and Mingle) portion because there wasn’t enough space in my apartment to move around the giant dinner table. In my building, we have 2 different community areas. We are not allowed to “reserve” them, but I spoke with one of the managers and she said that she would allow me to use the mezzanine space and placed my event on the calendar so that no one else would use it. Once I confirmed that I had this space, all systems were a go!

Fast forward to last weekend – let me walk you through the event:

I greeted the ladies in the lobby of my apartment building, and held them there until everyone arrived. Once everyone arrived, we all got into the elevator and I took them up to the mezzanine. When the doors opened, the ladies walked into a winter wonderland (with a curated playlist of all my favorite Christmas music) - which only 2 hours before the party was a blank slate that I had to fully transition into the vibe that I envisioned. I handed each girl a glass of champagne, with a dollop of cotton candy on top, and a customized swizzle stick with their name on it. I expressed how thankful I was that each of them were there – how much I loved them - I set the intention for the evening – and we toasted.

“my favorite part of the party was the reveal of the doors opening to that magical wonderland. a big reveal is alway fun and it set an expectation for the night”

Shortly after the champagne toast – my sister Kendra – which by the way let me pause here to gush a little bit about how amazing she is. I’m actually tearing up a bit here, because I truly truly truly could not have done this without her. She was my right hand woman, and worked tirelessly on helping me make my vision come true. She created every curated drink and cooked every piece of food that you see in these pictures below - FROM SCRATCH. She made her own juices, infused simple syrups, dairy-free salad dressing, she fried some of the best chicken and poured her heart into making my favorite braised short ribs (AND SHE’S BEEN VEGETARIAN FOR OVER 10 YEARS), and the BEST roasted veggies that still I’m getting compliments about. Not only did she cook and bar tend, but she helped me shop, decorate, move furniture, clean…..ya’ll and she never complained ONCE. Not ONCE. I love her so dearly, and she has been officially hired to manage the food and beverage for all of my events moving forward. I cannot thank her enough. Kendra, you mean the world to me – THANK YOU for everything.

Back to the champagne toast – after we were finished – my sister Kendra brought in the first appetizer and cocktail. She made a deconstructed po-boy with grilled shrimp, coleslaw and a dollop of homemade remoulade. We placed them in a glass cup that sat inside vintage glass trays that I scored for $5 a piece at a flea market in Burlington, NC. Lucky me I get to have these forever, so you will see these at other events for sure. Paired with the shrimp, she created a cocktail with Hendricks gin, an infused thyme and lemon simple syrup, a splash of tonic, and rimmed the glass with an infused lemon sugar, and garnished with a sprig of thyme. So fresh and delicious!!

The next appetizer course was a baked wrap brie round with a side of homemade fig and bacon jam. Let me just say that she needs to bottle this jam up and sell it. So good!! Paired with the brie – she created a blood orange cocktail (it was supposed to be a vanilla fig cocktail – BUT after not being able to find any figs at the grocery store, we moved on to blood orange – and it was perfect). We used Tito’s vodka, and infused it with a blood orange and vanilla simple syrup, added a splash of homemade lemonade for a bit more sweetness, poured that into a clear Christmas ornament, set that inside a martini glass, and then garnished it with a candied slice of blood orange.

The final appetizer was one of my favorites – fried chicken and waffles with an infused vanilla maple syrup. The chicken had just a touch of spice which paired well with the maple syrup. She then created a spiced pear bourbon cocktail – which was a big hit! She woke up early on Saturday morning to dehydrate thinly sliced pears, and then created an infused simple syrup with pears, cinnamon, and ginger and topped it off with a big splash of Woodford bourbon. This was voted the favorite drink of the night – even from those that don’t typically drink bourbon.

In between the appetizer courses, I created a photobooth for the girls – and my photographer (oh did I mention that I hired a photographer? It was something that I felt was worth investing in so that I could put my phone down and just enjoy the evening) - she brought her photo printer, so the ladies were able to take their pictures home at the end of the evening.

The photobooth was made out of PVC pipe that I measured, cut, and built myself. I purchased some black material for the backdrop and painted modern gold Christmas trees to pull in the theme.

In addition to being able to take home their photobooth pictures, I let the girls know that throughout the evening they will be getting little gifts from me. I created some gift bags for them to be able to carry all of their goodies home. Up to this point they received the swizzle sticks, the photobooth pics, and also slippers! I asked each of the girls to come dressed up to the party in their fanciest holiday garb – including heels. But I know that I can only walk in heels but for so long, so I purchased a bunch of slippers for the girls to change into once their feet started to hurt. Party up top, comfort down below!

Once the Jingle and Mingle portion of the evening was over, it was time to take the ladies up to my apartment for dinner. Because my space is small, my sister and I had to remove all of the furniture to fit the extra large dinner table that I rented from American Party Rentals here in Durham. We were able to fit the furniture inside of my bedroom and walk in closet – and then politely closed the doors. The vision for the dinner table came super early in the planning stages. I knew that I wanted most everything to be black with touches of gold, lots of greenery, and only lit candles for lighting. I wanted this portion of the evening to feel intimate, and I was able to pull it off.

“there is nothing like watching pure talent unfold right in front of your eyes. seeing someone be all the way in their element + effortlessly excel all night long. this wasn’t just a party - this was an experience”

In terms of the food, we started off with a kale and brussels salad, with caramelized onions, butternut squash, crispy bacon, topped with a parmesan cheese crisp that my sister grated and baked, and then drizzled a homemade ranch dressing over top.

For dinner, we decided on braised short ribs, garlic mashed potatoes, and roasted vegetables. If you have ever gone out to dinner with me, and they have braised short ribs on the menu, you already know that this is what I’m going to order. Hands down. Being that this was my favorite comfort dinner – I knew pretty early on that this was what I wanted to make for the girls. Paired with dinner I offered a choice of red or white wine (some chose both, lol) but they both went well with the ribs.

Again, all of the rentals came from American Party Rentals, and I cannot rave about them more. I had such a great experience with the entire staff and it was worth every cent. Many of the pieces on the table were those that I thrifted (butter dishes, glass coasters, tall glass votive holders, etc.) but most everything else was rented.

I hand-painted these lady afro napkins for each place setting and told the girls that they got to take theirs home with them. The moment I said that, they all asked for a paper napkin so they didn’t get the hand-painted linen napkin dirty. Hahahaha. They also said that I should sell these in the shop – what do you think?

Once dinner was over, we sat around and talked for a while as we continued to enjoy the wine (and Kendra went downstairs to clean up the appetizers and set up for the next course), it was time to take the girls back downstairs to the mezzanine for dessert and coffee. As the elevators opened, I so loved hearing the gasps as the girls saw the dessert table that we set up, full of santa coffee mugs. Yep, you guessed it, they got to take those home too!

For dessert I decided to support some of Durham’s local bakers and had rum cake from Chez Moi, Red Velvet Cake from Yellowbird Baking, and gingerbread cookies from Roses Noodles, Dumplings, and Bakery. The girls loved all of the desserts, and even though everyone was full – they found the space to get down these delicious baked goodies.

While we were eating dessert, we had a gift exchange where I asked each girl to bring a gift worth $40-50. Each girl picked a number, and in sequential order picked a gift from the table. Because we knew that all of the gifts were going to be good, we decided not to follow the typical “White Elephant” rule of being able to steal a gift, but instead once you chose a gift - that was yours to keep!

After dessert I was finally able to really sit down and enjoy my guests. We talked, laughed, danced, reminisced, took lots of pictures, and just enjoyed being together.

“Jessica put together a Christmas party that celebrated friendship and black girl magic. it was classy but not pretentious. It was intimate but i felt comfortable to be myself and literally kick off my shoes”

I had such a fun time planning this event. Yet, I can’t sugar coat it – it was HARD. WORK. You hear me? HARD. It was a true labor of love and I can honestly say that I do not know how people plan weddings. I went into it thinking I would spend a certain amount, and I easily ended up spending three times what I originally planned. Three times, you say? Yep. And that’s because my vision came with a cost that I just was not willing to forego. I had to create/decorate 2 magical spaces out of nothing, all food was made from scratch with the best ingredients (organic, grass-fed, wild-caught, local), all drinks were top shelf and the mixers were made from scratch, throw in the rentals, the photographer, and all the goodies that the ladies got to take home = money. BUT I would (and will) do it all over again. The magic that happened during this evening was worth every single cent.

 What’s next you ask? Well. Now that I have this experience under my belt, I want to plan more intimate parties. I do not want to get into big events and wedding planning, but would love to start planning small (10-25 people) experiences. I know that I will do another either Christmas or New Years Eve party next year, but I would like to plan a couple of others throughout the year.

If by chance you have a small event that you would like to have, and would like for me to help curate it into an evening your guests will not forget – please feel free to reach out to me at shopsixeightyeight@gmail.com. Let’s create something special together!

I hope that you have enjoyed getting a glimpse inside my Christmas party - it is a time that I will never forget!